Sando Takes Pitcher Down (page 30720)
What do the following have in common: Towels, Trampolines and Mayonnaise? They’re all responsible for snipering an MLB’er this season. Miami pitcher Mark Buehrle wanted to make himself a sando before his first start last week, but sliced his thumb trying to open a jar of mayo. When told the Marlins have staffers who could do that for him, he said, “I’m a grown man. I can make my own sandwich.” That’s the thing, Mark, you obviously can’t. Not without jacking yourself up. Or you would have. And why do these freak injuries only happen to MLBer’s. I’ve never heard of an NFL’er getting dinged by carrying deer meat down the stairs or falling asleep under a sunlamp. Or trying to open a jar of mayo. Next time, Mark, do the sensible thing: mix in some mustard.