I Saw A Pudgy, Pasty Castaway (page 33736)
Funny thing, I was flipping channels last night, landed on Survivor…and I could have sworn this one pudgy, pasty castaway was former MLB’er Jeff Kent. Turns out, it was! And you have to like his chances on the island, right? I mean dude is a former NL MVP. His athletic ability should carry him through this thing. And it did. For about 10 minutes until he tricked his knee jumping onto a raft. How does Blair from the Facts of Life make it through that challenge unscathed and a former league MVP doesn’t? Because that’s what baseball players do: they suffer ridicules injuries. Let’s not forget, Kent once claimed he injured his wrist “washing his mini monster pick up truck.” And now he’s banking on people not knowing who he is: “I’m hoping people don’t recognize who I am. There aren’t many tall white guys with mustaches walking around still these days.” Exactly, just a few firemen and you. Just remember, it’s outwit…outplay…outlast…not out-stache, Jeffrey.