VIP Section Of All-Time Chicago Tormentors

Can somebody in the 773 please check and see if Cubs fans are still breathing? Because all of Clark and Addison just got strapped onto a spine board by Daniel Murphy.

I said it yesterday: The NLCS is over. The 2015 Cubs aren’t the 2004 Red Sox. And if he hits one more jack in Game 4, Murphy shoots to the VIP Section of all-time Chicago tormenters.

So on behalf of the Chicago Cubs… Zeek Thomas, Bron James, Aaron Rodgers and The Ol Gunslinger, would like to welcome you to the club as their newest member.

You have to admire how Murphy waited all the way until his last at bat for another HR blast. He was almost about to give the Cubbies this moral victory of keeping him inside the Confines.

Sure, he was 3-for-4 at that point… but at least the Cubs broke his streak. No they didn’t. He broke their backs. Again.

And all the guy can say for himself is that he has “no idea” how this is happening. For that last one – it almost felt like Chicago wanted it to. Why else would Fernando Rodney serve him the fattest Costco -Sized meatball right at the belt? It was like a shot fighter sticking out his chin and begging his opponent to put him to sleep and end it. Or John Bender screaming at Dean Vernon that he wants another Saturday School.  YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE??  YES!! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT ANOTHER ONE RIGHT THERE! That’ll do.

Somebody needed to tear Murphy off the Cubbies and get him to O’Hare before he killed somebody. Four straight Mets wins. Four straight Murphy bombs. Biggest disaster in Chicago since the great fire of 1871.

Tony Romo picking up Harry Caray’s mic can’t believe how badly Dan Murphy just ruined Cubs fans lives.


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