Best Opening Weekend Ever

I call it the best event in sports. I say it’s “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” I break down Bracket Guy. And over the last 4 days we’ve seen why.

Because the NCAA tournament is not one of these old traditions that’s rotting on a vine. This isn’t a thing where the bitter old folks get together and say music used to be better, life used to be better, and back in my day – March Madness was way better. Because it wasn’t.

Because they’ve been running this thing for 77 years and I believe we just got hit with the best opening weekend ever.

You know why I’m not afraid to hype the tournament so hard? Because it ALWAYS delivers.

Ever think while you’re filling out your bracket-  Maybe this is the year the tournament’s a letdown, maybe this year it shows up small and doesn’t hit the hype? I don’t. Because it just spent the last 4 days smashing it.

Again. How’s your bracket? Today’s one of the only times someone will actually mean it when they ask that question… Just so they can laugh at the answer. I know how your bracket is. It’s sitting in a landfill because you threw it away on Friday afternoon.

Here’s how EVERYBODY’S bracket’s doing. It rotted right in your hand because a 15-seed, a 14-seed, a 13, two 12s, three different 11s, and two 10s won games. And that was just in ROUND 1. That was a record for most double digit upsets… Including Middle Tennessee State over Michigan State to make the whole bracket feel like it was on acid.

Bracket Guy was hitting full cardiac arrest. And we hadn’t even hit the second round yet. Sparkle and fade though, right? After that flurry – everything chilled out over the weekend, right? EHHHH. There’s been so much madness already after just 4 days… They’re going to run ol Luther Vandross in 1/2 speed and stretch it to 8 minutes just to fit everything in. It’s gonna make Alvie’s Week That Was sound like a test pattern. Northern Iowa shocks Texas with a half court buzzer beater, only to tag the biggest meltdown ever 48 hours later.

Jimmy Boeheim’s Cuse team has hit the Sweet 16 in full SCREW YOU mode…. The whole country was looking to embrace Stephen F. Austin, until Notre Dame kicked them right in the gut… And half the Internet stayed up last night ‘shopping Mike Jordan’s crying head on Bill Murray’s shoulders after Xavier got stabbed. That’s just how weird the weekend got – it brought two of my Space Jam co-stars back together.

That’s why you can’t overhype the madness. Because if you start to think it might be past its prime- it just gave us its best opening weekend ever. We’re on a 3 day break, and we’ll run it back on Thirsty Thursday.


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