The NBA’s Mercury Morris

The real drama around the office isn’t who actually won the 2016 March Madness pool. It’s who won the 1996 Bulls pool.

With Golden State closing in on their wins record, you knew one of the old Bulls was going to pop off and said they’d roll the Warriors head-to-head. It was just a matter of who you placed your bet on.

Lot of horses in that race. Dennis Rodman? Of course, Worm will say anything. That’s a safe bet.

45? No doubt. What – you expect the most competitive mister falcon of all time to be gracious about it?

Philip Jackson? Absolutely. He’s already thrown shade at Golden State, and the hippie would probably tweet some pretentious philosophical BS he pulled out of a fortune cookie.

But…the winner… of the contest to see which ’96 Bull would diss the Warriors the hardest is… Scottie Maurice Pippen!

Scott came in scorching hot, saying his guys would sweep Golden State “Bulls in 4.” Scott – you guys didn’t drop a sweep in any of your 6 Finals – but you’re going to do it against the Splash Bros? Sure you’re not. You and MJ needed 5 to beat Erv and Mike Dunleavy’s happy-to-be-there Lakers team in ’91.

But instead of answering the question about – Is Scottie right? Let me pose a better one. Why am I even talking about this? And a better one still-  Who cares? I’ll tell you who cares. People who think Batman v. Superman is real, and who get all excited about the Madden simulation of the Super Bowl. It’s a magic, mystical series that can never happen.

Pip says he’d check Steph and thinks his length would give him problems. Probably. But the modern referees calling you every possession for a hand check would give YOU problems, Pip.

Lots of luck to the Bulls when you’re sitting out in foul trouble and Dickey Simpkins has to stay with Steph.

I don’t care if the Bulls would beat the Warriors any more than I care if The Rock would have pinned the ULTIMATE Warrior. It’s grown men talking about make believe, and old dudes saying they did it better.

Congrats Scott-  you’re the NBA’s Mercury Morris.

I don’t care if the Warriors would lose to the ’96 Bulls in 4 straight. I care if they beat the 2016 Spurs 4 times in 7 games, and 2 out of 2 times in the next 10 days.

And little advice for Pip- instead of estimating how you would D up Steph, try calculating 20% on the check.

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