That sound you hear wheezing out of Chicago is the air flying out of the Jake Arrieta hype. Fail Horn, Cubs fans. So much for your unhittable strong man. You knew Arrieta was too good to be true. And so did the Pittsburgh Pirates, who just jumped this dude and humbled him.

Think he has crazy numbers? Here’s some straight up embarrassing numbers: Arrieta ONLY went 7 innings last night. He ONLY struck out five.

And we’re all supposed to be in awe of this guy? Again – the Pirates weren’t. In fact, I think they were already up in dude’s head before the first pitch. The dude walked the first two batters he faced. I actually thought Joe Maddon was going to pull him out of the game. He should have. Because Pittsburgh jumped this dude for… Check this out… TWO hits! They doubled him up! Knocked him all over the park.

More like Fake Arrieta, am I right? NO. I’M NOT. And neither is anyone waiting for this guy to get exposed.

You know what I like waiting for? The little stats and historical nuggets that the MLB Dweeb Nation digs up after every Arrieta gem. You can’t even tell if they’re true or not.

In today’s episode, we learn that…. Jake Arrieta has not lost a road start in 12 months, Jake Arrieta has a .66 ERA over his last 19 regular season starts, Jake Arrieta has allowed 5 hits in his last three starts, while collecting 3 hits of his own at the plate, Jake Arrieta hasn’t given up an extra base hit in over a year! That’s one’s not true. But I bet you’d believe it. Anyone would.

Because anything’s possible with this guy. You could read that Jake Arrieta throws with his other arm in the late innings when he gets tired and be like, that sounds about right. It all sounds right with Arrieta.

Props to the Pirates for making him work. Getting a base hit against Arrieta is like slamming a 500 foot home run. They did it twice. You don’t try to beat Arrieta. You just try not to get embarrassed by him. That blowout loss was actually a big win.


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