The Best Bad Series Ever

Nevermind a tree falling in the woods. If the Heat and Raptors play a game the same night Steph Curry makes history – did it really even happen? Hell yes.

You may not be watching it. But I am, and Toronto and Miami are making some history themselves. I believe we are witnessing the best bad series ever. Every game is awful. And they almost always go to overtime.

This series has found a formula: 4 quarters of bad basketball, followed by one period of Free Basketball!

After Game 2, I asked- how could a team in the modern NBA win an overtime game with only 96 points?? Then the Heat went out last night and won one with 94! Anything you can do, I can do uglier.

These Heat-Raptors games aren’t being won by who plays better. They’re being lost by who fails harder. And the teams take turns.

Last night was Toronto’s turn. DeMar DeRozan blew up with… 9 points! Kyle Lowry blasted Miami with…. Two buckets! And this is against a Miami team playing without their best shot blocker Hassan Whiteside.

No Bosh. No Whiteside. Coach Spo is running out old man Udonis Haslem at them, and Toronto still had nothing.

At one point, the game got so ugly that the ball said “I’ve had enough” and just straight up quit.

 

I respect that ball. Everybody has their limits.

Dwayne Wade says “This is playoff basketball at its best.”

Stop it WOW. Don’t confuse the games being close with the basketball being good. I’ll give you this. You’re the only guy who’s playing all right. But that’s just it. That’s the problem: The fact that a 34-year old man with fluid in his knees has the most bounce in this series.

And you know damn well Miami’s going to show up with nothing in Game 5. That’s how this series works. It’s like they’re daring each other to win it. I hate to tow the line and say that the next round for the Cavs is going to be a BYE. But these teams don’t look like they believe any differently, so why should I? It’s probably going to take 3 more games to find out who’s the survivor of this ugly series, but we already know that Cleveland is the winner.

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