X-B-O-X JETS JETS JETS!!

Check out the Jets quarterback mess. Ryan Fitzpatrick is clearly their best option, but they’ve been in a stand-off with him for months. Everybody on the team wants him back. Nobody wants Geno Smith. And then to make things more jacked up they spent a second round pick on Christian Hackenberg.

You know the only saying – if you have 4 quarterbacks you don’t’ have one.

But I’m going to throw my support behind a dark horse in that race. Second year Jets QB Bryce Petty… Petty hasn’t played a down in the NFL, but he played a LOT of PlayStation over the summer. “For me, it’s a process. Just watching film, I’m seeing things. I played Madden the other day, and it’s not just picking run plays anymore. It’s like, ‘Oh, they’ve got an under front on defense. You start picking up things differently.”

Hell yes you do.

What? You think that picking up a defense on Madden isn’t the same as doing it against the Patriots? You trying to tell me that Petty playing one of his bros and noticing that he was blitzing all 3 linebackers and both safeties doesn’t mean he’s ready to pick apart AFC defenses? The game’s changed man.

Madden’s crazy advanced now. This isn’t your Dad’s Tecmo Bowl anymore. That goes across the board. I guarantee J.J. Watt tunes up for the season by breaking out NFL Blitz on his old N64.

You really think Jason Day doesn’t get in 36 holes on Mario Golf before a major? I’ve heard that Dale Jr. tunes up for the Brickyard by stealing a squad car on Grand Theft Auto and flying around the streets of vice city. There’s even a rumor going around MLB that Rougned Odor plays Mike Tyson’s Punch-out in the clubhouse.

It’s not just sports, either. I know for a fact that to prepare for the GNR reunion tour, Slash played hours and hours of Guitar Hero to re-master his old licks.

True story, I had a plumber at my house the other day. He told me he and his brother learned their craft from years of playing Super Mario. And I think we all now that with the games just a few months away, Usain Bolt is down in Jamaica playing N-E-S “Track and Field” with the powerpad. It’s how all the greats do it.

As far as I’m concerned, Ryan Fitzpatrick can stay home. This competition is already over. The guy to lead Gang Green is the guy who shops at GameStop. X-B-O-X JETS JETS JETS!!

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