Andrew Luck is officially NFL Oprah. Maybe he still can’t beat the Patriots, but he can buy the entire planet. And he can outspend anybody in football.

140 million over 6 years. Biggest contract in NFL history. 87 mill guaranteed blows away Eli’s 65 . 23.3 per year puts him past Aaron Rodgers and Joe Flacco getting 22.

Andrew Luck is now the Peyton Manning of making NFL money. Most prolific ever. Let’s take a quick rundown of the winners and losers.

WINNER: Andy Luck. The guy just had his worst season ever, but was given the biggest contract in the history of the sport. There were actually times last season when it felt like 40-year old Matt Hasselbeck gave the Colts a better chance to win than Luck. And Luck still got Screw You money from the Colts… and he’ll be a free agent when he hits 32 and can ring that bell AGAIN…

WINNER – Every other quarterback. Because they just saw the sick crib on the next block get sold for a ridiculous price. Their comps are WAY up. Sure, he could have jammed the Colts even harder, and gotten even more money, but there are plenty of good young Q.B.’s around the league, celebrating that deal right along with Luck. In fact, they’re already planning their party for a few years from now.

If Andy is Opes Winfrey, those guys are the wild-eyed soccer moms winning cars in the audience. You get a hundred mill! ! You get a hundred mill contract!! EVERYBODY GETS A HIUNDRED MILL!

WINNER: The New England Patriots. Hoodie and Tommy love this. Because they want Andy in Indy for a long, long time. They’ve beaten the dude 5 times in a row, by an average of 25 points per beatdown. Luck can buy anything he wants. But the Patriots own him.

LOSERS- the Colts. Possibly. Those stacks are gone; they’re committed to Luck.

Look, not everyone has a franchise quarterback. And if you have one you better pay him. But you also better make sure you saved enough, and are savvy enough to surround him with the talent he needs.

Sure, the franchise has a face, it’s got a field general, they’re good. But is there going to be anybody out there with him? More importantly- is there going to be anyone out there to PROTECT him. Nobody in the NFL makes more money than Luck, and nobody takes more hits than Luck. I mean he makes Ben Roethlisberger look like a guy who’s afraid of contact. Luck’s kidney didn’t lacerate itself last year. You know how hard you have to hit a 6’4 240 pound tank to break it? Colts fans do. They’ve seen it. Pass rushers are hitting Luck in the chest when he pulls into the player’s parking lot. Ask J.J. Watt.

Look, I think Andrew Luck is worth whatever the Colts want to pay him. They sucked for Luck to get him. They got to the AFC title game with him. Everybody in the league wants a guy exactly like him – they’ve got him. Question is, going forward, can they win with him. I don’t’ care if he makes 100 million dollars per season. He can’t do jack with his arm in a 20 dollar sling.

The Colts have already seen Peyton get his neck snapped. They can’t keep doing business with Andy Luck on his back.

They’ve paid him… now show you can protect him, and prove you can beat the Pats. Because last time I looked, you couldn’t even beat the Jags.

Congrats to Andy. But there’s still a long way to go for Indy.


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