The Smack-Off is the Jungle’s Super Bowl.
The Super Bowl is the biggest thing in the world; and you never know if it’s going to live up to the hype. Same thing with the Smack-Off.
Except the Smack-Off usually does live up to all the hype. But you never know exactly what you’re going to get.
And you knew the storylines coming in. Was Brad in Corona going to go back to back and solidify himself as the best caller in the history of the show and a four time champion?
Would Mike and Chael team up again, or go at it on their own. We knew Chael could win without Mike, but Mike had never won without Chael.
And what would the Laguna Beach bully, Leff do to top last year when he buzzed the O’Reilly Auto Parts studio with a Chopper?
Would any of the old school drop in and rip the $5 grand and the title.
You never know what’s going to happen, you just know it will be good and it will live up to the hype. And it did again. Just like it does every year. But this could have been the best one ever.
C’mon, what went through your mind when Leff in Laguna went full on SWAT team and busted in the door?
Or when old man, old school Iafrate, was on the only with the stones to chase that call and immediately call him and me out for what’s happened to the Jungle.
And sure, Chael and Mike didn’t go tag team, but Mark in Hollywood and Lee Jenkins did. As did Chael and Stone Cold Steve Austin. And Kaleb in Green and his mom. Or Kaleb and Sarah T. Or whoever it was who played the role of his mom.
The Smack-Off as institution, continues to thrive and get better each and every year, and just like every other year, we had a number of what the bleep moments and controversy in the end.
Three or four of those calls were good enough to win in any other year, but only one dude can. Like I said leading up to it: $5 grand to the winner, jack squat to the runner-up. Winner take all. So let’s take some time and take a look back at Smack-Off 22, perhaps the mother of them all.
Unfortunately, the actual content of Vic in NoCal’s call just wasn’t there this year. Some outdated boy band smack and gay jokes aren’t putting you in the top five, much less getting you the win… But the 2010 Champ may have walked away with the funniest line of 22 when he went all in on Marv Albert’s safe word.
Even on a quote “off year” Vic still brought some heat. Not his best day, but arguably the day’s best line.
One of the Holy bleep moments came out of Mark in Hollywood’s call
Whenever we have Sports Illustrated writer Lee Jenkins on our show, dozens of you clones rush to thumb out the same exact joke that… Jenkins sounds exactly like Mark in Hollywood… So how did Mark address this in his Smack-Off call? By bringing Lee Freaking Jenkins into his call.
This Golden Ticket winner turned champ was looking for his second belt, but just wasn’t strong enough over all. But good enough for a 4th place finish and one of the better ideas of the day.
And huge props to Lee from jumping and dominating the role of Lee Jenkins playing himself.
One disappointing moment of the day:
May have been my man…John in Little Rock… There are certain things we’ve come to expect with a John in Little Rock call… A crappy cell phone, some hilarious beatboxing, and a parody of a hit song. We got one of the three. A crappy cellphone.
Dude, true alphas rise to the occasion; they play their best when the stage is biggest. They have their best day when the lights are brightest, not their worst… John, when you’re in the Smack-Off, that’s when you come out singing the hits. It’s not a time to roll out with some deep cuts no one has ever heard of.
It’s been four days since the Smack-Off and I still have no idea what song John was singing. Or doing.
You’re still my dude. I’ve even got a spot for you in next year’s event; just make damn sure you don’t do that again.
Just remember what got you to the dance. Steph Curry doesn’t post up for 48 minutes a night… And you shouldn’t have done, whatever the hell you did.
This horse bounced.
It’s something we talk about in horse racing. When a horse runs a huge race, maybe even a career best, and you bring him back, sometimes too soon, they don’t run to near the same effort.
Like any effort, they leave it all there, and they don’t have the same explosiveness next time out. They’re flat. That’s Brad. He bounced.
Or…or… he’s like that championship fighter who shows up one night, and he’s just not the same. Suddenly, he’s taking shots he always avoided in the past. Or can’t pull the trigger like he used to. Or maybe, it just wasn’t his day. But I know this, I expected more from Brad in Corona. You expected more. And I KNOW HE expected more. It just wasn’t his day.
Unfortunately Brad’s off day came on the BIGGEST day of the year on Friday… He fell from the top spot, to just barely hanging on to a spot in the Top Ten.
But this 3-time Champ isn’t going home empty handed. He’s getting the WTF moment of Smack-Off 22.
When it comes to a Brad in Corona call. You know what you’re getting. Smack, voices, singing, and… SPORTS TAKES?! We got some this year… On Big Papi… Or at least on little leaguers nicknamed Big Papi. This might be a sports show, but Brad in Corona has never given a damn about that. But give him this: I said come with something different. And Brad did: a sports take.
Blast from the Past
Every Smack-Off, you never know what legends you’re going to hear from. Sure you’re going to get the best of the current best, but will you hear from the best of past best. This year, we weren’t just lucky enough to get a call from a two-time champ, but a history lesson as well.
Iafrate came out of nowhere to let his voice be heard. And honestly, it was probably the best possible call we could’ve taken to follow up Leff. It was the perfect contrast. By going from a call with all the bells and whistles, quite literally, to an old school Smack-Off call. It was like watching a guy bust out a flip phone at a new iPhone 7 product launch. And start beating all those losers on line with hit.
Iafrate came in and basically said, GIVE ME BACK MY FREAKING JUNGLE.
You can’t have a Smack-Off without Smack. And the fact that this year’s Smack-Off fell on Canada Day only made our neighbors to the north the easiest target since Kaleb in Green Bay.
Everyone had a little taste of their own Canadian smack, but most of it was the same played out, tired jokes we’ve been hearing for years. Maple syrup, Mounties, denim, mullets, blah blah blah. That’s why it was so refreshing to hear someone with some Canadian smack that actually worked: that was fresh…that’s was regurgitated and a huge waste of time.
In fact… Mark in Boston’s Canada smack was as original as the Jim Harbaugh Saved by the Bell tattoo he rocks on his leg.
Take note, Clones. I’m not sure why you’re messing with Canada when Canada is just sitting their minding their own business. But if you have to, you have to go at it like Mark in Boston; if I’ve heard the joke 100 times, I probably don’t want to make it 101 and I know it’s not funny.
Aside from Leff breaking and entering into our studio, the biggest surprise comes via the rookies… No one in the Golden Ticket group won it all like Mark in Hollywood a few years back, but this was the deepest Golden ticket class we’ve ever had.
Let’s be real: What are golden ticket winners: dudes who are desperate. Desperate to get in. Desperate to get the cash. And most likely not even going to get on the air. And if they do it’s usually as some a sort of ritualistic Smack-Off sacrifice for the rest of us. They barely belong and prove it nearly every time. Except this year.
This year, they all called in early and made immediate impacts on the game. Cal in Vegas used a majority of his call to threaten Conor McGregor.
John in San Antonio went after Brad.
And the best of the rooks had also been the biggest wild card… Chad in LA. Much like how Alvin’s Week That Was produces arguably the best radio every Friday, Chad in LA’s Brad That Was produced one of the more memorable moments of this year’s Smack-Off.
Way to rip and then rep the Golden Ticket, rookies.
One of the big plays and best twists of any Smack-Off is the Cameo. Love the Cameo because you know who you’re to get, year to year. I mentioned Lee Jenkins from S.I. pulled off a legendary cameo in Mark from Hollywood’s call. In any other year, that’s your runaway winner for Cameo of the Year. And believe me, I nearly gave him to him this year.
But in a very close call, it’s goes to none other than, CBS’s own Rick Ackerman, or as the clones glossed him, Rick Smackerman who came with the straightest of FIRE during Leff’s championship call:
Only question now is not whether R. Smackerman opts out of his deal with Leff and hits the free market as a gun for hire, it’s does he come in to the field next year as a full blown contestant repping himself, and hiring someone else to do a cameo for his call? Best cameo of the day, but don’t call it a surprise.
If you do, you obviously haven’t been listening to my man’s updates closely enough. Hey Rich. I’m proud of you. And more important Coach Reeves is looking down on you and he’s proud of you.
Rich Smackerman, Smack-Off Cameo of the year.
Best Call: Leff in Laguna
Question: What do you do to top buzzing the tower with a chopper? Answer: You bust down the door and enter that tower by foot. The Laguna Beach Bully went where no man has ever gone before. My freaking studio.
Dude bumrushed our house. Have to admit, it was surreal. It was different. But don’t get it twisted; that’s not the reason he won.
A lot of you are like, hey Rome, he won for rolling up on your studio? Anyone could have done that. But they didn’t. Know why? They’re not freaks. Or stalkers. Or more importantly, they know it’s not cool to show up at your place of employment.
How do you reward that? All fair questions, but again, just figuring out where I worked is not why this guy won. And no, I didn’t feed him the address: he figured it out all by himself: remember, this is the same dude who was choppering outside the studio last year. It wasn’t just that he get into the studio to tag the call: it was that he got into the studio mid call, delivered his Rich Smackerman production element on cue in studio, and then with the highest decreed of difficulty, cracked open a helium balloon, spit out a time to die at Brad in Corona in Brad’s voice, and then the Laguna Beach Bully removed his Richie Incognito gamer he was rocking, signed him for me and bounced.
Truth be told, Mike in Indy’s pure content was probably better, but Leff’s content was strong enough and the production value and show carried the day.
So to answer the question, how do you top buzzing the studio in a helicopter? This is how you do it:
This was everything you want out of a Smack-Off call. Great smack, creative concepts, and every radio host in America checking their locks and looking into better security for their building.
All of that combined produced not just one of the greatest calls in Smack-Off history, but an incredible moment in RADIO history.
And Leff has a pregnant wife who’s ready to give birth any day now. Babies are expensive, so hopefully that $5K can help out a little bit.
Remember Leff, having a child changes everything. Let’s just hope it doesn’t take away anything from your calls.
The crown is yours and we’ll all be looking to see how it fits and how you’ll defend a year from right now.