I Need A-Rod To Miami

How about this for a buzzkill? A-Rod will NOT be taking his talents to South Beach. At least according to his publicist, Ron Berkowitz who said, “It’s not happening.”

PSSSHT… PLEASE. I said it yesterday… A-Rod is one of those guys that while he played, everyone wanted him to just go away. And now that he’s gone, I want him to come back. I NEED him back.

And what better way to come back than to seek closure to his AWKWAHD career by finishing it with the Fins?

Let me set the table for you… A-Rod hits 3 more homers as a Marlin. Digs into the box as the first baseman of the Fins sitting on 699 career home runs, and he blasts his 700th in front of a half-empty Marlins Park to set off that nasty water and firework spewing home run sculpture in left center.

A liar and a cheat who was allegedly going to save baseball by ripping the homerun record from Barry Bonds, only to turn out to be living right next door to Bonds on Cheat Street. And even better, Bonds would be his hitting coach with the Marlins.

A carnival ending for a circus career. It’s absolutely perfect.

Come on, Ichiro reached 3,000 as a Marlin. My man, Mike Piazza can’t wait to see A-Rod in a Marlin gamer. You know Shaq in his Celtics jersey, or Shaq in a Cavs jersey, or Shaq in a Suns jersey, would advise Alex to hit up as many teams as he can on the way out the door.

Let’s face it… After losing Giancarlo Stanton for the year, the Fins NEED A-Rod. And with the way he was forced out of the Bronx, A-Rod NEEDS the Fins.

And more than anything else, I NEED the A-Rod and the Fins to make this happen. There are some many good reasons to do this, but not one good reason why they shouldn’t. So his publicist says it’s not happening. Hopefully that’s just a negotiating ploy. Because I don’t want this to happen, I NEED this to happen. We all need this to happen. Do it, A-Rod. If not for you, than for me.

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