Robo QB Arrested

This next story has everything. Celebrity. Drugs. Nudity. Bizarre behavior. A bad mug shot. The only thing that’s missing from the Clone Wish List is obesity.

So no wonder I started getting tweets about it as soon as the news broke. I could practically hear you guys getting itchy Twitter fingers and starting to work up some lame emails, because I know how badly you want to get into it.

So, yes, I am aware that former USC and Los Angeles Raiders quarterback Todd Marinovich was arrested Friday night in a stranger’s backyard in Irvine, California. And, yes, clones, he was naked when they found him. And he had been spotted, wandering on a bike path, naked, with a brown bag that reportedly contained meth and marijuana.

There, does that make you feel good? Does that make you feel better about your lives?

And save me the tweets and emails about the mug shot: another source of endless fascination for ya’ll:  – I know it doesn’t look good. In fact, it might be the worst mugger ever.

But what did you expect? That a guy found naked on a bike path with meth and chron, allegedly, was going to look good? I don’t want to visually indict somebody, but that looks exactly like the mug shot of a guy who was naked and holding meth.

But, it’s incredible to look at that photo and remember what he was. The first Orange County quarterback to start as a high school freshman. Then he goes on to USC where he wins a Rose Bowl and then was a first round pick by the Los Angeles Raiders. Mater Dei, USC, Rose Bowl, Raiders? That’s the SoCal dream. Virtually every family OC family is chasing that right now; and he’s the only one that achieved it.

And it all fell apart so quickly. Played a total of 8 games over two seasons with the Raiders and then it was over. And yes, he’s been battling demons for a long time, but when you look back at the details of the so-called Robo QB, is it any wonder?. Most people remember that he never had a Big Mac as a kid, but Esquire Magazine did a deep dive back in 2009 and some of the other details are completely nuts:

  • As a baby, Todd was fed only fresh vegetables, fruits, and raw milk; when he was teething, he was given frozen kidneys to gnaw.
  • As a child, he was allowed no junk food
  • [His mother] Trudi sent Todd off to birthday parties with carrot sticks and carob muffins.
  • By age three, Marv had the boy throwing with both hands, kicking with both feet, doing sit-ups and pull-ups, and lifting light hand weights.
  • On his fourth birthday, Todd ran four miles along the ocean’s edge in thirty-two minutes, an eight-minute-mile pace.

I’m willing to bet that most people listening right now can’t run 4 miles in 32 minutes and Marinovich did it at four years old. That’s incredible and completely insane. And no, I’m not giving him a pass for what happened over the weekend. When you’re 47 years old, you’re responsible for yourself.

But I’m also saying it’s fair to ask, did he ever really ever have a chance? I mean if your father has you lifting weights at three and doing 8-minute miles at four, is it any wonder that maybe there would be some issues in adulthood. And don’t get it twisted, even when he was still messed up from drugs, the guy could play, as the Esquire piece reminds us:

“Todd returned to football for the last time in the spring of 2000 — a mercurial stint with the Los Angeles Avengers in the Arena Football League. His first year, he tied the record for most touchdowns in a single game despite undergoing severe heroin withdrawal; after [expletive]-ing his pants during warm-ups, he came out and threw ten touchdowns to win a game against the Houston Thunderbears.”

He bleeped himself and still want out and threw ten t.d. Passes. BALLER!

He could throw ten touchdowns in a game despite coming down off the horse and having a disaster in his pants during warmups. So he had talent. It’s just too bad that this is how it ended up. You can’t be arrested for going out with a bag a meth and no clothes. Not at 47. Not at any age. And if you are, ultimately, it’s on you. But I’m not going to celebrate and dance on his grave. I know I can’t stop you from doing it, but I’m not going to.

It’s just so strange to see any sports story of national significance, slugged Irvine. I mean bizarre enough that the Rams are working out at UC Irvine but Toddie M getting picked up for being naked and possessing meth and chron in Irvine is about the craziest thing ever.

I just hope I don’t roll in here tomorrow morning to find out Pat Haden got busted for blasting rails of blow off while on that Ferris Wheel at the Spectrum. Or hear about him riding the horse so to speak and peaking on heroin, tripping around Fashion Island.

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