Can you believe it? Ryan Lochte is back in the news — and as he rolls through minute 16 of his 15 minutes of fame — the disgraced swimmer seems to have lined up a new gig — Season 23 of DANCING WITH THE STARS.
A report from CNN has Lochte circling the new job — as ABC has apparently been having trouble casting this season, currently stuck with the slightly-less-than-platinum-trio of Amber Rose, JoJo Fletcher and Jake T Austin.
And if you had to take a second to google those three you aren’t alone. But that opens up room for Lyin, who you know is going to step into this competition with a single-minded focus befitting a six-time Olympic gold medalist who pretty much lost every stream of income he had thanks to his circus stunt in Rio.
We won’t know for sure if this is actually happening until August 30, when ABC reveals the new cast on Good Morning America. But at this point, Lochte has to feel like a mastermind — parlaying his infamy into a season of primetime network television!
Last Olympics the dude played it straight and it only got him a reality show on E!. This year he embarrasses an entire country… And he goes all the way to NETWORK TV.
You know Lyin has already traded in his speedo for sequins. That swim cap for tap shoes.
And he’s burning up that DVD player spending his nights watching Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing — ghosting his moves as he gets ready to dominate on his biggest stage yet.
While Mike Phelps and Katie Ledecky are fading off into the sunset, Lochte’s going NEXT LEVEL. Ballroom dancing.
Good for him. Better than porn. But not by much.
How desperate is this dude? How desperate is ABC?
Good luck, Lyin. I won’t be watching.