Head Game Coach?

The college football season is upon us and I’m still coming to grips with the fact that the 2016 season won’t include Steve Spurrier. But that’s the case. He’s put the visor on the shelf, written a book, and is doing a tour.

That tour included a stop on Fox News. And you know how this goes. The show’s staff will dig up some interesting facts and they throw them up on the lower third of the screen as the interview goes along. And one of those facts that they used was his nickname, and they listed him as “Head Game Coach.” WHAT? The Head Game Coach?

He’s the HBC – Head Ball Coach. Or the OBC – Ol’ Ball Coach. Not the HGC – Head Game Coach. Bill Parcells, the Big Fish didn’t want any of that? Can’t wait until they interview Bill Belichick, aka The Sweatshirt. When’s the panel going to debate how the old Hindu Master, Phil Jackson, is doing with the Knicks?

Who can forget Spurrier’s matchups against The Scarf, Les Miles, or The Nicknamer, Nick Saban?

Then again, maybe I’m being too hard on the graphics guy. After all, current Florida coach Jim McElwain apparently never learned the name of his punter at Colorado State. Hayden Hunter told a local newspaper that McElwain just called him “punt guy,” even in the exit interview as McElwain left for Florida.

On the other hand, it’s not like the crew at Fox actually did have a helpful hint as to Spurrier’s nickname: look at the cover of the book – it’s called “Head Ball Coach.”

But maybe I’m looking at it all wrong. Maybe Fox News was trying to join me in the fight against self-gloss. Maybe they’re doing to Spurrier what I’ve done to Cloney Carter, or The Axe, Shot Callerz, and the rest of the crew.

One problem. The Head Ball Coach isn’t self-gloss. That’s his nickname and you either use it correctly or you don’t use it at all.

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