Good Job, Good Effort, Reporter

We’re just over 24 hours away from the kickoff of Texans-Patriots in Foxborough tomorrow night and there’s still no word on who’ll be starting at quarterback for the Pats. Actually, there are a lot of words, and they’re all over the place. Like it’s Jimmy Garoppolo. Or it’s Jacoby Brissett. Or Julian Edelman might take some snaps. T.J. Yates was reportedly at the facility for a workout, but left without a deal.

And then there’s the report from the Boston Herald that the Patriots are pressuring Garoppolo to play. Jeff Howe writes: “the Patriots are putting pressure on Garoppolo to be ready as quickly as possible, even reminding him Tom Brady played through a similar injury on multiple occasions throughout his career, sources have told the Herald. That Garoppolo took part in practice Tuesday, on a limited basis, reinforces how the Patriots have hopes of him playing this week.”

Pressuring him to play? So it sounds like he doesn’t have a shoulder injury. Ehhh, not exactly. Howe writes: “Garoppolo is still struggling to lift his right arm, so it is unrealistic to believe he’ll be ready to perform effectively against the Texans, who are ranked third in both points and yards allowed through two weeks.”

Sorry, come again? They’re allegedly pressuring a guy to play who can’t lift his throwing arm? How does that make any sense?

You’re pressuring a guy with a busted wing to get out there and play? The guy reportedly can’t raise his arm and you’re pressuring him to play? Why not have him try to break the team record in the bench press first. Or do some one-arm pull-ups. Shoot, as long as you’re running him out there, have him play linebacker and punt coverage as well.

I know the guy’s been good, but is he really that good? And is it really worth risking the possible QB of the future just for a Week 3 game in September? Besides, you’re 2-0. You already have a 1-game lead in the division and Brady’s coming back in two weeks.

Fortunately, it’s not like the Texans have any large, fast man, who excel in getting after the quarterback. Wait, actually they do. One Justin James Watt. Let’s shove Jimmy Grapes out there in front of Watt. And hell, maybe this is one of those games where Jadeveon Clowney shows up too.

But here’s the thing with the Patriots – you never know. Is this really the plan? Or are they actually going to go with Brissett and this is just a smokescreen? Or do they have something else up their sleeveless hoodies?

There’s only one way to find out. Go to the man himself, Bill Belichick.

 

That was a freaking battle for the ages. Belichick kept knocking the reporter down, and the reporter kept getting to his feet, wiping off the blood and throwing again. Why didn’t one of the other reporters come over and tell dude to just stay down. Don’t get up.

But not this reporter. He wanted to get back up and take even more punishment… I’m not sure if that guy is new around Foxborough, but he didn’t know he was fighting a man, he’s fighting a machine. A combine harvester and he just kept running into the blades, throwing punches.

I thought it was over when Belichick went with this line:

“I’m a football coach, not a doctor. The medical staff’s the medical staff. I coach the team, medical people handle the injuries. They don’t call plays. I don’t do surgery. We have a great deal there. Works out good.”

That’s a knockout punch. Total KO. “I don’t do surgery.”

Really? Because you just did open heart surgery on that reporter. With no anesthetic. Just ripped it out, still beating, and showed it to him.

But the reporter kept coming. Kept on swinging wildly until Belichick had enough: “I do what’s best for the football team. … Let me put it a different way: I’m the coach, I do what’s best for the football team. I don’t know why we can’t understand that.”

The only thing Belichick enjoys less than a press conference is a press conference about the health of his quarterback. But he just ate that reporter for lunch. Good job, good effort, reporter. Get a mop and a towel for the blood and some ice for your head. And what exactly do you have to show for that. Really nothing, because we are no closer to knowing who’ll be the Patriots quarterback tomorrow night. I know you’re just doing your job. But the Hoodie was doing his. And his job is to win games and eviscerate reporters.

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