An NFL Untouchable

Greg Hardy had himself a weekend. The former pro-bowler, who still doesn’t have a job after flaming out in Dallas last season, doesn’t appear he’s going to get one any time soon either.

Not after being arrested Sunday for possession of a controlled substance when police officers searching his car found a baggie of cocaine in his wallet.

And that’s not all they found. Because Hardy, who was heading home with a female companion after a night out at Applebee’s also had a grinder with marijuana remnants. And police found a second baggie of blow.

He’s still one of the worst and dumbest people you’ll ever come across.

Why? Because he told officers he had no idea, no idea, how the Bolivian marching powder got into his wallet. And not only did he not know how it got there, he had no idea what it was. When the police pressed him on it, Hardy knew he had to dig deep and come up with something so he told them, he was at a party the night before, and wanted to pay for everyone else, so he passed his wallet around; and that someone must have just slipped the blow into his wallet….you know what? I get it.

Totally understandable. Who hasn’t that happened to?.

I’m a generous guy. I frequently will pick up the tab. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thrown down my credit card only to get home and see bags and bags of blow in my wallet. And I have no idea how it got there!

This guy has done some pretty reprehensible things; again, this is a really bad guy. And a really dumb guy. But this really does make sense. He passed his wallet around to his crew, and one of his dudes thought he’d surprise him with some booger sugar.

Just like all those guns on my futon: no idea how they got there either. No idea. I had some friends over, and told them take a load off, sit down, relax: and they must have just left me their guns.

You can’t make this stuff up. But Hardy seems to try to at every turn. He passed his wallet around a party, and unbeknownst to him, someone filled him up with blow?? Who the hell passes their wallet around at a party?

One of the dumbest things, by one of the dumbest people, I have heard. But not at all surprising. Remember, a court found him guilty of domestic abuse yet he told everyone who would listen that he was quote an “innocent man.” Right. About that about those pictures that showed up on Deadspin: the ones that showed your lady was badly bruised? Oh those? I can explain those. Quote, “pictures are pictures and they can be made to look like whatever they want.” Riiiight. Just like blow is blow and it can just jump into any wallet it wants.

Fast forward, through the embarrassing debacle with the Cowboys, through the offseason where no one wanted anything to do with you… to this weekend, and now it’s official, you’ve sealed your fate as an NFL untouchable.

This is as bad dude. And if he thought he might get one more shot from a team desperate for a pass rusher, that’s not happening. Not when you’re rolling home from Applebee’s on a Sunday night, with a car straight outta Narcos.


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