Coach Em Up, Patulski

Give it to Rex, man. He’s funny. He’s loose. He’s sending the message to his team; even though the Hood owns me, and I’m on borrowed team and won’t be a head coach much longer; I don’t want any of you guys to be worried. I’m not.

In fact, I got this. So much so, that instead of preparing for a guy I can never beat, I’m just gonna grab ass with the beat reporters and see if I can find out who the hell they’re starting at quarterback.

It’s like kid in your dorm who hadn’t been to class all semester, so instead of studying the night before the exam, he just gets drunk and screws off. Hey, y’all, watch this!

This is going to be the funniest crap I’ve pulled since I put that wig on and jammed a pillow under my shirt and pretended to be Rob. Admit it that was the funniest crap ever!! No check that, the funniest crap since I hired Rob to fix the defense that I broke last year. Shut up! Shut up!! They’re coming to me: listen! Listen!


Look, the big fella was much, much funnier when he when he was going to the AFC Championship game. Hell, when he was winning more than he was losing; I mean, did that ever even happen? Well it did. But not since 2010.

But give him this; he’s still pretty amusing. He’s not a good head coach. At all. And won’t be one very much longer but have to admit him messing with a team and a coach he can’t beat is pretty funny.

But not nearly as funny as Wes Welker messing with him back in the day:


Now that’s funny. Much, much funnier than hi-jacking the media call yesterday even those hyenas on the Bills beat though that was some of the funniest stuff they’ve ever seen. Rex, you need to dig deep. You need to go O.G.; you need to make some more foot porn…allegedly.

Tell you who won’t be all that entertained. The Hoodie. Because that postgame handshake that usually lasts 1.5 seconds — expect Belichick to shave half a second of it.

Old Rex. That’s just Rex being Rex. Life of the party. The class clown. Just here to get people to look at me and make them laugh. Except no one thinks it’s funny. Except you.

I’ll tell you someone else besides Belichick who doesn’t think it’s funny. The Pegula’s.  You know them. The ones who scratch your checks? Although they’re denying it, they may have met with Tom Coughlin. So not only have they met with your players without you; they may have met with your successor as well.  But it’s obviously all good, or you wouldn’t be busting in on media conference calls.  And if this is the way dude is acting after shocking Arizona, imagine what he’ll try to pull if he shocks the planet and does the Hoodie.

Coach em up, Footie. Coach em up!


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