Empty Stat Line

I thought the most amazing stat line I’d see this week was Anthony Davis going for 50 points, 16 rebounds, 7 steals, 5 assists, and 4 blocks on opening night. But I was wrong. Because the most amazing stat line in the history of stat lines is Blake Bortles throwing for 337 yards, 3 touchdowns, and zero interceptions.

Yeah, I said it. 300 yards and 3 tds? You see those numbers and you’d think he was a Pro Bowler. And you would be wrong. Numbers don’t lie, but his numbers from last night are a blatant, bold-faced lie.

And it makes his performance last night even more disgusting. At least have the decency to have a stat line that reflected your performance, like 145 yards, three picks, a couple fumbles, and a Dan Orlovsky safety. That would be dignified.

Coming out of that game with 300 and 3 is dishonest. Because most of those yards and all of those touchdowns came in the second half. Those aren’t garbage yards, that was a garbage performance. Totally hollow.

Awesome in fantasy, terrible in real life.

This is pretty much SOP for Bortles. As Michael David Smith pointed out on twitter: over his career, Bortles is at his best in the fourth quarter: throwing for more than 3,000 yards and 26 touchdowns. Clutch right? That’s what everyone’s looking for –a quarterback who steps up in the fourth quarter. A quarterback who comes up big when it matters most. One problem, most of those games are losses. So he’s the worst kind of quarterback – a guy who comes up big when it matters least.

The ultimate stat-padder. A total fraud. You want a guy to throw for 200 yards in a quarter when you’re down by three touchdowns? Bortles is your name. You want a guy to keep you in the game and maybe get you a lead in the first quarter, forget about it.

Anyone can rack up yards when the opponent is playing prevent all half. Former Jags quarterback Blaine Gabbert, aka Plain Garbage, could do that. Hell, Chad Henne could do that. Speaking of which, how terrible is Henne that he can’t get ahead of Bortles?

He’s got a bunch of weapons around him and he doesn’t know what to do with them. His mechanics have regressed. He always starts slow. And his confidence is shot. And after the game, he didn’t exactly sound like a guy who was ready to turn the corner.

“It’s hard for me to sit up here and answer this for you guys. You guys know everything I’m going to say, and I don’t know. I tell you the same stuff every week. It’s difficult.”

You’re right. It is difficult to live through that. For you and for all of us.

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