Bleep You Goodell Parade

When you have as many championship parades as the City of Boston has had over the past decade and a half, you have to get creative with how you present them to keep that fire alive. To keep fans interested and still coming back.

Yesterday, instead of hyping the Pats, they used the parade to wreck Goodell. It was less of a Super Bowl victory parade and more of a BLEEP YOU Anti-Goodell Propaganda Parade.

Just about every sign, t-shirt, and drunken yell was taking shots at the commissioner. And Boston came up strong.

And then the team took the podium to address the crowd. Starting with Bobby Kraft and his stand-up act to get the crowd warmed up.

“There is no Billy Goat here, just Bill the Goat.”

Bob is like that old man who just learned new slang terms, like GOAT, and forces it into every conversation he has. He was talking about how they have a GOAT at quarterback, they have the GOAT fans, all he drinks is GOAT milk, etc.

The Hoodman was loose. I’m talking REAL loose. As in he cracked a smile a couple times during the parade. Felt like Gronk might’ve slipped something into his drink, because my man even got the crowd hype by starting a NO DAYS OFF chant….

No days off? Hey Hoodman, hard for you to hit us with a NO DAYS OFF chant when you and literally everyone around you is taking a day off to be at that parade. Not to mention, didn’t you do Fallon on Monday? And the parade on Tuesday. And aren’t you scheduled to tee off at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro Am this weekend? Do you plan on scheming blitz packages from the 18th green? When does this NO DAYS OFF thing intend to start? Is this your version of DIET STARTS TOMORROW?

Look, I don’t want to ONE UP the ultimate football guy, but now you’re officially 5 WEEKS and TWO DAYS behind every other team in football. And after your golf outing this weekend, we can bump that up to 6 weeks behind every team in football… but hey, other than that… NO DAYS OFF! NO DAYS OFF!

And you gotta love Gronk coming up big. Dude was the MVP of the parade. Most Vicious Partier.

The dude hasn’t worked a snap since Week 10, but he wasn’t about to ride the bench for the parade. He was the most lit dude there. And he wasn’t doing it for himself, apparently.

Gronk said he wasn’t planning on partying? What? Like Tuesdays are his Sober Day of the Week? When has Gronk ever NOT planned to party? I told myself I wasn’t going to do this, but I’ll bite the bullet for the fans, I guess. It seemed like the guy had his shirt off two blocks into the parade.

You can hate the Pats all you want, but you have to respect Gronk’s parade game. Hell, I’d be ok with the Pats winning the next TEN Super Bowls as long as it means seeing this cat double-fisting and showering himself with Natty Light shirtless in the snow. THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT BABY!

I don’t want to speak for Boston, but from what I could tell, the first annual BLEEP YOU GOODELL PARADE was a success.

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