We had an MJ sighting over the weekend. The GOAT was back on campus at UNC to break the news that the Tar Heels football team will now be outfitted in the Jordan brand rather than Nike. That’s the good news… The bad news is, someone handed him a mic to talk about it.


Thanks 45. What else you got for us? “The ground is the floor?” “Walls are boundaries?” “Water is wet?” 

I mean, the guy ISN’T wrong. Believe it or not, but the ceiling actually IS the roof, but that doesn’t negate the fact that this line might be dumber than his stint in baseball.

What the hell were you REALLY trying to say, 45? The sky is the limit? There is no roof? Reach for the stars?

You’re the GOAT. You’re 45. You’re a billionaire. How do you butcher a line that simple?! Believe me there’s no bigger fan of athletes mixing metaphors than yours truly, but that is truly embarrassing.  If not downright offensive.

This is a guy who rarely makes public appearances, but every time he does, it seems like he ends up plastered all over the internet for all the wrong reasons. If any other NBA legend came out and tagged a speech with that line, we’d slap a Crying Jordan on his face and call it a day.

But that’s the thing. This dude IS Crying Jordan. Hell, we’re to the point where current UNC students probably know him more as a MEME for failure than they do as the GOAT of basketball. Seriously.

Check his rap sheet since hanging it up with the Bulls in ‘98… He had that stint with the Washington Wizards… He had his washed up, old man moment when he missed that breakaway dunk in the 2002 All-Star Game… Sneaker heads will tell you his Jordan Brand hasn’t pumped out a good shoe in over a decade… His failure to win with any of his sports ownership ventures… There was that time his kid asked “What’s popping’ Twitter?”… His tear-filled mug becoming synonymous with all things failure… and now this… His botched Tony Robbins moment… The ceiling is the roof?

Look, I hate to rail on a guy who co-starred alongside me in Space Jam. But trust me, watching this hurts me more than it hurts you. 

Greatest player ever. Not the greatest speaker ever. Michael Jordan is not the Michael Jordan of public speakers.


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