Man Ram Is Headed To Japan

Manny Ramirez is back in baseball. This time overseas in Japan with the independent league Kochi Island Fighting Dogs.

 

And you have to this cat’s contract to believe it. He absolutely killed it at the bank as a major leaguer, but safe to assume, the Indians, Red Sox and Dodgers never did for this guy what the Fighting Dogs are.

Is this 44-year old Manny Ramirez we’re talking about or Mike Trout in his prime. How does a 44-year old dude pull this kind of a deal. Listen to what his contract calls for:

— his own Mercedes, with driver.

— his own hotel suite on road trips

— the name MANNY printed on the back of his #99 jersey

— unlimited sushi for the ENTIRE season

And, the most Man Ram contract stipulation of all…

– Practices are optional for him

Hell, good work if you can get it. Never mind will Bryce Harper be able to command half a bill in his next deal. Question is, will the Nats are anyone else give Harper what Man Ram just jammed Kochi Island for.

I wonder if these guys know, really know, who they just inked. I wonder if they know about Manny being Manny. I wonder if they know that if practices are “optional”, that he there won’t be any at all. At least for him.

When was the last time Manny did anything he didn’t have to? Maybe the time he jacked himself full of enough fertility drugs to make the Octo-mom proud? Or how about Manny refusing to speak to the media all spring until he finally broke his silence once to pimp a barbecue grill he had for sale on eBay?

Hell, Manny made playing in actual MLB games “optional” every time he escaped into the Green Monster to take mid-game leaks… ALLEGEDLY.

But other than that, he’s done whatever he wants whenever he wants. Like name all three of his sons “Manny.”

And now that he’s 44, I’m sure he could care even less. I don’t know how to say that’s just Manny being Manny in Japanese. But the Fighting Dogs better learn it quickly.  Because while plenty of major leaguers have gone to Japan to finish their careers, none of them have been quite like Man Ram. And they may think they know what they’re getting, but they have no idea.

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