LaVar’s Playing Everyone

LaVar Ball might be crazy. Or he might be crazy smart. Most likely, he’s somewhere in between. Because the biggest sporting event on the planet is about to kick off and the only thing that EVERYBODY seems to be talking about is the DAD of a UCLA point guard.

So before I go out and kill a guy who averaged 2 points a game for that ridiculous “I could’ve taken down MJ” take, or for  that nearly as ridiculous the run he took at Charles Barkley last week – I’m more inclined to laugh at the guy, then crack him. Because he’s a clown.

Look, we love our kids. And we all think they’re better than they really are. Of course.  They’re our kids! But as whack as most think this guy, even LaVar doesn’t think Lonzo is better than Steph Curry.

Bottom line, I really think this guy exactly what I did back in the day. The day, I rolled out of the rack and the first thing I thought of was, I’m going to come up with the most absurd thing I could ever imagine, and then I’m going to go on the air and say it. And then see how many people I can hook with it. And I’m going to do it to prove a point: to show how gullible some people are and that if I say something on the air, or put online, no matter how ridiculous, someone will believe it. And that’s the Cockfighting Across America Foundation started, or CAAF.

I said I was going to set up chicken fights all across the country as a way to keep kids off the street. They don’t need the boys and girls clubs, they need cock fights. Sure enough, some folks bought, like I knew they would and were enraged.

Just like some folks bought it when I also said on the show once, that EVERY FATHER WANTS THEIR DAUGHTER TO GET INTO PORN.

That’s what this is with LaVar Ball. Dude is just doing what I did. What’s the craziest I can say or do to hook some more suckers: I know, I’ll say that I would have kicked Michael Jordan’s ass one on one, in my prime. Dude averaged 2 points per game in college in his prime; and it was right around the same time, Mike was abusing fools in the NBA.

But that’s just LaVar’s every father wants his daughter to get into porn moment. He’s just looking too hook some folks and get them to look at him and respond to him.

Believe me, he’ll just keep raising the bar: question is, where does he go next? That Tom Brady is lucky LaVar played basketball and not football, otherwise he would have been Brady and had all his trappings: the Super Bowl’s and the super model wife: the telephone? Yep. LaVar invented it.  Polio vaccine? Yep that was LaVar too. Hey big dude, I have a million of em, lob me a call if you need some help with it.

Then again,  it doesn’t look as if he needs my help: he’s doing a helluva good job on his own. No one wants to talk to his kid, who is a stud and is going to go in the lottery, they want to talk to the old man who has really not accomplished much at all other than planting his seed.

So while the old man’s  shtick and self-promotion rubs just about everybody the wrong way — smashing this guy as just another idiot helicopter parent is about as wrong as his take on his 1-on-1 game versus 45 in his prime. LaVar’s not hurting anybody. He’s not a drunk. Or a druggie. Or a deadbeat. LaVar is what LaVar is: A HYPE MAN. There’s a method to his (March) Madness.

And like any good hype man — he’s got a helluva product to sell: A son with a pure point guard handle who can shoot it from the outside and might play his way into being the No. 1 overall pick in the draft.

This dude is a clown, and he’s playing everyone.

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