In an offseason where New England has shocked the league and taken some HUGE swings, the Hood is finally back to doing what he does best. Because he just went out and signed a running back. The HOOD signed… Wait for it… Back-up Bengals running back Rex Burkhead. Not Adrian Peterson. Or Jamaal Charles. Or Latavius Murray. Or resigning LeGarrette Blount. But Rex Burkhead — third stringer for the Bengals.
The former 6th round pick who racked up a grand total of 87 rushing attempts in his three seasons in Cincinnati. THAT’S more like it, HOOD. That’s the guy we know. And I’m guessing THAT’S the player who turns into the next Chris Hogan or Danny Woodhead or Troy Brown.
After flexing through the opening days of free agency, the Hood is back to the basics. And after adding Brandin Cooks and Stephon Gilmore, the Hood goes back to his roots, snatching an obscure former late-round pick from somebody else’s bench, where he’ll probably turn him into an impact player. Because that’s what the Hood does.
And you can pretty much already see that blueprint already laid out for Burkhead, who had exactly ONE opportunity to make some noise in Cincinnati and ran all over Baltimore for 119 yards and two touchdowns in his only start — week 17 against the Ravens.
I love this move. Not just because it’s the most Patriots signing of all time, but because I think Burkhead’s going to have a solid season. He’s one of the best special teamers in the game. And in his very limited opportunities as a back, he managed to impress, both as a pass catcher and as a sneaky efficient runner.
And while the Hood won’t acknowledge that analytics even exist, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Burkhead was the NFL’s No. 2 back in success rate, and the No. 1 back in football for fewest missed yards — advanced statistics showing way more than what shows up on a stat sheet.
So while the signing will probably slide under the radar when you look at some of the huge moves New England has already made — get ready for Burkhead to make an impact. And even if the Hood’s next press conference has him muttering through the usual “grumble-grumble-grumble we think he can help the team, grumble-grumble-grumble we think Rex is a good football player,” the Hood just found the NEXT guy who’ll come out of nowhere and dominate.
So while Adrian Peterson and Jamaal Charles wait for the phone to ring, the Hood just landed Rex Burkhead. The Hoodiest move of all time.
A.P. didn’t just lose a great gig to Eddie Lacy, he lost a potentially even better one to REX FREAKING BURKHEAD.
That alone almost wants me to start another REX STREAK.