Brady’s Jersey Has Been Found

The long national nightmare is over: TB12’s Super Bowl jersey has been found. And everybody — the NFL, the Patriots, Houston PD’s Major Offenders Division, the FREAKING FBI, and even Mexican authorities played a role in recovering it.

The NFL blew the lid off this thing yesterday saying the crook as  a “credentialed member of the international media.”

After video emerged of the suspected reporter, TMZ has named names — MAURICIO ORTEGA, the news director for Mexican newspaper La Prensa — who has been credentialed at Super Bowls for more than a decade.

And just when you think this story couldn’t get any weirder, NFL security recovered not just Brady’s latest missing jersey, but his gamer from Super Bowl 49, and reportedly other Super Bowl memorabilia, including some of Von Miller’s gear from the Broncos last win.

So the NFL was credentialing Danny Freaking Ocean to cover the Super Bowl. Or Thomas Crown. And this guy was walking into Super Bowl locker rooms and walking out with memorabilia worth six-figures. And he was doing it between taking SELFIES with his marks — maybe the most cold-blooded move a media member has ever pulled off.

In terms of the Brady jersey thief, if it really is the same person who swiped Von Miller’s gear last year, why wouldn’t he do it again this year in broad daylight? It worked once, why not do it again? Either he’s the greatest cat burglar ever or there is really, really lousy security in Super Bowl winning locker rooms. And it sure doesn’t sound like this was an Ocean’s 11 job.

Think about the STONES on this guy. Walking into the Locker Room of the Super Bowl and walking out with six-figures in stolen memorabilia without anybody ever knowing. In broad daylight. With hundreds of TV cameras rolling. And doing it MULTIPLE TIMES — not just snatching his jersey in Houston but doing it TWICE — TO THE PATRIOTS no less.

Find a tougher mark than TB12. What else did he get, Belichick’s sweatshirt? And that’s just what we KNOW about. What else did he get, considering how many other times this guy has been in the locker room to “cover” the Super Bowl.

You think Brady was clutch down the stretch in the Super Bowl? Try walking into a crowded locker room and leaving with his gamer. You think Von Miller was scary coming off the edge terrorizing Cam Newton? Snatch that dude’s helmet and cleats and then walk out after snapping a couple selfies. MAURICIO ORTEGA was cold blooded.

But I prefer to focus on the positive here. So amidst the chaos between America and Mexico, who better to bring our two great countries together for a common good than TB12, who pledged that once he gets the jerseys back he “can make something very positive come from this experience.”

And after getting away with one Brady gamer after the Pats ripped that ring away from Seattle, Mauricio went ONE JERSEY too far before setting off a global manhunt that ends with Brady’s jersey the literal FABRIC that brings the world together.

So the nightmare is over. Brady’s jersey is back where it belongs. And maybe — just maybe — the healing can begin.

Comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Listen Live