Bring In Cutty, H-Town

So now that Tony Romo has traded his helmet for a headset, a handful of NFL teams have to be looking at their quarterback board and thinking, “NOW WHAT.”

And no place more than Houston, who you just know was banking on Romo coming in, and ripping Jerry Jones’ heart out of his chest by leading the Texans to a ring before Jerry got his in Dallas.

I mean, the only thing worse than Romo getting a ring before Jerrah, would be for him to get it before Jerrah in the same state as Jerrah. And the Texans knew that. Hell, they were banking on it.

But because they weren’t willing to trade for Romo, trying to wait him out ended up costing them. Not because they lost Romo to the Broncos but because they lost him to broadcasting. Like I said yesterday, the number one job at CBS is better than the number one job with the Texans, and Romo made the right call.

So now that the Texans just took another shot to the solar plexes, where do they go from here. Sure, there’s still a ton to like about them. They have the NFL’s best defense. And weapons across the board offensively; and a solid offensive line. But….but…a two deep of Tom Savage and Brandon Weeden just ain’t gonna get it done. And knowing that, there’s just one man to call: CUTTY.

Yeah I said it. FREAKING CUTTY.

What’s taking so long?

LOOK AT THE BOARD. Look at the draft class. Look at your depth chart. Why is this so difficult? You know Cutty is ready — just hanging loose by the beach, checking his watch as he looks off into the abyss, knowing that sooner or later REALITY is going to set in for Houston, a team doing everything they can to talk themselves into believing that their depth chart is good enough to win. Well I’m here to tell you: IT ISNT.

And let’s be real: The fit is perfect. Cutty has the arm to stretch the field with DeAndre Hopkins and Will Fuller. He’s got enough time in the league that he’ll be able to pick up Bill O’Brien’s offense. He’s got incentive to go to Texas — have you SEEN how cheap cigs and whiskey are in H-Town?

Why roll with a Savage when you can start a COMMANDO. Why go through the growing pains of breaking in a young quarterback when you’ve got a guy like Cutler just HANGING AROUND, ready to CRANK it up at a moment’s notice — plenty of gas still in the tank after his offseason R&R melted the internet.

Besides, the Texans are dying for just mediocre QB play — they’ve won the division with guys like Matt Schaub and Brian Hoyer, they made the playoffs with Brock Osweiler.

Cutty — even at his most mediocre — is an immediate upgrade over those guys and someone who you know won’t put up a fight in the locker room if Bill O’Brien wants to go in another direction — not as long as you give him some space and a pack of Marlboro Reds.

Because the Texans are built to win now. And that’s not going to last forever. So if the choice is A) Tom Savage or B) Brandon Weeden… you’re only answer has to be C) COMMANDO CUTTY.

So put a pen in this guy’s hand and let him bring his smoke to Houston. The Texans will be better or it. The NFL will be better for it. And most of all, we’ll all be better for it.

You already made one of the biggest mistakes in league history by bringing in Brock Osweiler. Don’t make an even bigger one by NOT bringing in Jay Cutler.

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