Generally, this show is a no LaVar Ball zone: you know my take on these cats. Lonzo is a really nice player and a good dude. And his old man is annoying bag, full of hot air and bad takes. I can’t even muster the energy to crack the guy and the brand. What this guy does and says is so absurd, I don’t have the interest or the energy to even to discuss the crazy ish that comes flying out of his gap.
Nor do I need to fill this show with some hot take response to one of his original hot takes in the first place. In short, I don’t care. I don’t give a damn. The guy couldn’t interest me any less. This is why you haven’t heard me burn entire segments here pointing out how ridiculous he looks. Or what an injustice he’s doing to his kid.
Now, having said all that, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t give you a thought or two on the latest involving old man Ball, his kid and his fledging Big Baller Brand.
Lonzo, or more accurately, the old man, released their own signature shoe yesterday. He’s thought to be the first player to ever release his own shoe before the draft. And the only thing more ridiculous than that notion is that you have to pay $495 bones if you want it.
Yeah, I said it. A $495 dollar pair of kicks. From a kid who’s not even in the NBA yet. And for an additional $500 bucks, they’ll give you an autographed pair. That’s right. He’s charging you $500 bucks for a pair of his shoes. And $500 bucks for his autograph. And he’s not even in the NBA yet.
It may sound like the biggest joke ever, but it’s a real thing. And it’s way worse when you consider it’s more than twice the cost of any other player’s signature shoe, including… you know… players, who actually matter. Players, who have actually played in the NBA. Jordan’s are selling for $185. LeBron’s are $175. Kobe’s are 160. Kevin Durant’s are 150. Steph Curry’s are 135. I think Starbury’s sold for like a buck back in the day. Put it another way, you could buy a pair of LeBron’s, a pair of Kobe’s and a pair of Kevin Durant’s and it would still be less than one pair of Lonzo’s.
And if you are truly stupid enough to buy a pair, they also have a $220 pair of slides they can sell you too. And before you kill the old man for his strategy and trying to jam you for $500 bucks for a pair of kicks belonging to a guy who hasn’t even been drafted yet, he has a message for you: quote, “if you can’t afford the ZO2’s, you’re not a big baller.”
Got that? It’s not that the shoe is overpriced, is that you’re not baller enough to pull the trigger on a pair. If you can’t afford the shoe, you’re not a big baller. I guess that makes us all losers, ehh, LaVar.
Remember the Harden 1; Remember those kicks that looked like burned baked potatoes? Maybe the ugliest shoe ever? Well, if you looked at them, and said, “I’d like to have slightly more flash and triple the price tag” then this shoe is for you. In other words, anyone who buys them deserves them.
And this detail is pretty rich: check this out: pre-order available for a limited time. No refunds or exchanges. Shipping by November 24th 2017: in other words, no refunds or exchanges on a shoe that you can’t even try on.
Obviously, the entire world is killing the Ball’s for trying to charge $500 bucks for a pair of kicks, but Golden State coach Mike Brown had the best reaction of all:
Seriously, anyone who buys them, deserves them. And while Lonzo is a really nice player, and a good dude, with a bright future, the old man is turning him into the butt of jokes before he’s even reached the NBA.