Manny Freaking Machado

Yo Red Sox — how many times we need to do this? Tie ball game. 4th inning. FIRST BASE OPEN. And Boston starter Kyle Kendrick thought it wise to challenge Manny Machado.

And then this happened. A 460-foot bomb that left Fenway at roughly 120 miles an hour — and a half-minute home run trot that was worth EVERY SECOND.

 

360 feet in 30 seconds. 29.77 to be exact. And with every Boston player staring a hole in his back, Manny just kicked it around those bases like he was on a Sunday afternoon stroll — making sure he saw that thing onto the Turnpike before he left the batter’s box, and then pimped that thing like an absolute G with every Red Sox just steaming.

30 seconds. Dude could’ve walked em faster. Hawk, in the closing kick of his latest 5k looks like Prefontaine compared to that. And I couldn’t love it any more. He could’ve trotted that one backwards for all I care. One flap down, brought his bat with him, spin move at every base. Wouldn’t have cared. And postgame, Manny gave what amounted to a shrug when he was asked if that home run trot maybe took a little longer than usual.  “Go look at my home runs,” Machado said. “I’m not a rookie. I have 100-plus home runs in the show. I do the same trot every time. Wherever it is, I do the same thing every time.”

Don’t like it? Don’t give it up. Don’t want to see him pimp it? Don’t let him leave the yard. And with 10 games to go between Boston and Baltimore, the AL East looks like it’s going to be all sorts of fun as this summer heats up. And there’s a new villain in Fenway Park. And Manny Freaking Machado is owning that role like an absolute boss.

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