Paul Pierce went through the retirement carwash yesterday. Sign a one-day contract, shoot some hoops, crack-wise jokes and officially retire where he started… as a Boston Celtic.

Wait… Why??? Didn’t want to suit up for one last ride into the sunset as a Brooklyn Net? What? No love for your time with the Wizards?

You call yourself the Truth, but the REAL TRUTH is you ALREADY retired… as a Clipper. Trust me, we all watched the last two years.

The one-day contract isn’t fooling anyone. You went out as a Clipper just like Emmitt Smith went out a Cardinal, Jerry Rice went out a Seahawk, and Shaq went out a Sun… or a Cav… or a Celtic. Or a member of the Magic.  Or the Heat.  I mean, damn, Shaq, how the hell does a guy that good bounce around to that many teams?!

Listen, I get that a lot of you athletes want to remembered a certain. With a certain team.  And you want to go out like that. But you don’t get to choose who you go out with. You retire with the team you last played with. To think otherwise would be to try to get us to forget about the last few years when you overstayed your welcome and went chasing; maybe a ring, or maybe a few bones. And that’s your decision. Just don’t think you can decide how and where to end your career with some lame one day’er.

You want to mess around with that, have a little fun, fine. Just know that none of us are forgetting how you really ended your career. All of you. Including Pierce.

Given the last four years, I’m sure you do want to retire as a Celtic; just pretend that you never made those stops in Brooklyn, Washington and here in L.A.; but you did. You can try to convince yourself it didn’t happen, but all those shots of you on the bench and Clips of you getting abused on YouTube, prove otherwise.

But sure, Paul. Whatever works for you. Tell yourself something enough and maybe it is real. And if you can keep telling yourself this lie, you probably will convince yourself you did go out as a Celtic and that that failed homecoming with the Clippers never really happened. No problem… And in the meantime, Toronto Raptor great Hakeem Olajuwon, famed Allen Wrangler Terrell Owens, and LA Ram icon Joe Namath all congratulate you for ending your career where it all started… Congrats, Truth.



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