The NFL season doesn’t actually kick off until next weekend, but it’s already on. Why? Because we’ve got ourselves a good old-fashioned fight between official team twitter accounts. It all started Monday when the Colts fired off a simple tweet with a pic of horses walking down an Indianapolis street with the caption #ColtsForged. Seemed innocent enough. Just three horses in a downtown environment and a hashtag. Not particularly edgy. And certainly not a reason to go.
Or so I thought. Because the following morning, @Titans responded with #WordOfTheDay “Forged”: copied fraudulently; fake. And the thinking emoji. Followed by Glad we could inspire you. #TitanUp And as proof that the Colts were ripping them off, they screenshotted a pair of tweets from July where they used the tagline Forge Ahead.
I respect the Titans for marking their twitter territory, but it feels like a little over reaction. But it wasn’t over then. Because, wait, what’s that, is that RAGNAR’S HORN.
Yes, here come the Minnesota Vikings sprinting from the locker room towards the ring. They’re the third man in and they’ve got receipts in the form of a tweet from January 2016 when they dropped a #ForgeAhead in advance of their wild card game against the Seahawks.
Unbelievable. Here we thought it was just an innocent AFC South feud between the Colts and the Titans, but the North Remembers. The NFC North that is. The Colts and Titans were so busy with each other, they never saw it coming.
But the Colts bounced back with a screenshot of a dictionary definition of “forged” with a giant red circle around the entry that reads “first known use: 13th century” and the caption We can circle dates too. Touche, Colts. Too-freaking-shay! Well played. A very good idea to remind everyone that you weren’t actually claiming to invent the word, just that you were using it and that the Titans and Vikings should all step off, take a deep breath, and go back to doing whatever it was that they were doing on twitter because they started this fight.
At that point, it seemed like it was over. Like a truce was declared, order was restored, and reasonable minds had come to an agreement. And that was wrong…
Because just when the football teams had calmed down, the crew at Meriam-Webster came in and crushed them all with this blast: Now, teams. There’s no reason you can’t ALL ‘forge ahead,’ much like you copied each other when you lost to the Patriots.
STRAIGHT. FREAKING. FIRE. The crew who define every word, just defined STRAIGHT FIRE. The only thing missing from that was a “Delete your account” and a mic drop emoji.
Urban Dictionary defines ether as “To burn someone. It bleeps with your soul. The bleep that makes your soul burn slow.” But the real definition of ether is when Meriam-Webster clowns you and your team’s twitter account. That just bleeped with the soul of not one, not two, but three NFL franchises in one tweet. Bow before your golden twitter gods! Meriam-Webster has done it again.