The Texans and Bengals kickoff tonight on Thursday Night Football in the ‘Nati. And while Bill O’Brien has played things close to the vest, Adam Schefter is reporting that Deshaun Watson, as expected, will get the start. So the Tom Savage era is over. And I’ll tell you who isn’t very happy about that: Tom Freaking Savage.

Because dude only got 31 snaps. He only threw 13 passes — completing 7 with a couple of drops in there, while playing behind a line that very nearly got him killed by my man Calais Campbell. Because Savage thinks he didn’t do anything to lose the job. Hell, if you listen to Savage’s agent, he’ll tell you that Savage didn’t even play bad!

“I watched all 31 plays,” agent Neil Schwartz told ProFootballTalk. “And I can’t figure out why he’s benching Tom. I went through every single play, and I even went one step further. I asked two different NFL personnel people [or] coaches on two separate teams to evaluate and break down the film to see if I was missing something.”

Neil, here’s what you’re missing. He’s Tom Savage. This is the NFL. And this is the Houston Texans, who are now rolling out their NINTH different starting quarterback since O’Brien arrived. And let me lay out this murder’s row for you: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Case Keenum, Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett, TJ Yates, Brandon Weeden, Brock Osweiler, Savage, and now Watson. One of those guys is NOT like the other. The guy the Texans traded 2 first rounders for. And shipped out a second rounder just to clear the decks of the Brock Lobster. The fact that O’Brien even still has this job with that list of arsonists — that he’s managed to win 9 games a year since taking over — they should just go ahead and start building that 20-foot bronze statue right now.

But let’s get back to Savage’s agent. Since Sunday, he’s broken down the game tape, handed out grades, and gotten TWO different NFL personnel people to tell him that they thought Tom did a nice job. He should march right into O’Brien’s office and give him that data. I’m sure he’ll say, “DAMN, NEIL. Thank you for alerting me to this. After some consideration, I’ve got to say. You’ve changed my mind completely. Deshaun. Get that helmet off your head — We getting SAVAGE tonight, boys!”

You’re disappointed? How badly do you think I wanted a quarterback named SAVAGE to be playing in the NFL. That’s one of the best names ever for a quarterback. And ironic. Because the only thing that’s savage in this entire situation is O’Brien breaking Savage off now — because your client is a free agent after this season and is never getting another chance to see the field unless Watson gets hurt.

Bill O’Brien’s a good coach. A damn good coach who I want to give the benefit of the doubt. And he probably isn’t dying to put in his rookie quarterback in Week 2 after spending the entire off-season and training camp telling people that Savage was his starter. But it’s not like this is Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre in the same quarterback room. This is Tom Savage and the guy the Texans traded the farm away for. So while O’Brien may have gone to the hook early — the writing was always on the wall.

So buck up, Tommy. And wear that headset like an absolutely Savage tonight.

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