Clones, just because I’m not talking about it doesn’t mean I didn’t see a certain washed up golfer tweeting videos of him swinging a driver at half speed. Just because I didn’t spend any time discussing it, doesn’t mean I didn’t hear the news that Eldrick has been cleared to resume golf activities.
Because I’ve heard that sentence before. About a dozen times. And I’ll say this time what I’ve said the last 100 times. Call me when the dude makes a cut. Or is within 5 strokes of the lead on a Sunday.
Until then, Tiger throwing on the Sunday Red to snap a vid of him bunting one 220 yards into the right rough is like seeing Lance Armstrong hop on his 10 speed and do laps around the neighborhood in his Yellow jersey.
But believe it or not, I’m not here to crack the Cat. I see him working. That dude is doing what it takes to keep the lights on at Tiger Inc. That guy is living the long con — one step away from a Tebow-like existence, a never ending comeback and failure and redemption story that way too many suckers keep lapping up like you Hawk.
Because the only thing lamer than Tig trying to melt social are the honks who keep letting him. Like the golf bloggers who go Zapruder film on Tiger’s secret range session that somehow miraculously made it to video, or the loser who is freeze framing it to zoom in on his clubs and see if he’s made the total change to Taylormade or if he’s still playing his Nike wedges.
Just Stop already. Justin Thomas shot a 63 yesterday. Go talk about that. Or about Jordan Spieth has a short game like Tiger’s in his prime and he actually tips waitresses… with money. Leave the old dude with the fused together spine alone. Turn the page already. Trust me, he has. And so should you honks. Waiting on something that will never ever happen, is one of the worst looks ever.