So it’s that time of year, a week and a half out from the Iron Bowl, when Nick Saban usually is at his crankiest. This is when he gets really irritable, not because they’re playing that noted football powerhouse Mercer, this weekend, but because Bama’s number one and they’ve got a huge game against #6 Auburn coming up, so Saban needs to make sure he’s extra grumpy to let everyone know how focused he is and to remind his guys about how locked in they need to be.

After all, it’s almost two years to the day that he dropped his infamous “bleep through a tin horn” line.

So grumpy. So intense. So Nick Saban.

So you can imagine my surprise when the internet exploded yesterday because Saban didn’t come into presser yesterday and spit fire. Instead, he came in and had jokes, like this: “I just want to know how we got here. Not to offend anybody out here, I just walked by some jeans, wore out jeans, holes in them, all cut up. I just remember when I was a kid in West Virginia, I was ashamed to go to school because my jeans were wore out only because we didn’t have any better. Now they buy them that way. I just can’t figure how did we get here?”

Whoa! What the hell was that? Open Mic night at the Chuckle Hut? When did his presser turn into the Laugh Factory? Dude isn’t exactly hilarious, but he sure is cracking himself up over it. I wasn’t sure that he was going to be able to finish his presser.

Like some of the great comedians before him, he even worked the crowd!

Oh, Alex, my man, you just got burned! Freaking roasted.

What’s crazier – Nick Saban cracking jokes or Twitter exploding because of it? I love how people react to him using some tired lame material and treating it like it’s the funniest thing ever. Seriously – he’s going with “people are buying ripped jeans” jokes? And the internet is freaking out like he’s Chris Rock, Jimmy Kimmel, and Chris Farley all rolled into one.

Seriously, it’s a “people are buying ripped jeans” joke. It’s not new. It’s not creative. And it’s not funny. He’s one step removed from “Take my wife…PLEASE”

Did this guy just notice that people wear ripped jeans? People started wearing ripped jeans THIRTY FREAKING YEARS AGO. People wearing ripped jeans now are throwing back to when ripped jeans were a thing the first time.

Motley Crue wore ripped jeans back in their hey-day and no, I don’t want any jokes from Vince Meal about still wearing ripped jeans now. Making a ripped jeans joke back in the mid-80s wasn’t funny and it’s not funny three decades later.

What’s next? Making jokes about airplane food? But seriously folks, what’s up with airplane food? Huh? I mean, it’s on an airplane, but that’s not even food, am I right people?

As long as we’re talking about airplanes, why don’t they make the whole plane out of the black box, right?

And how about this – you drive on a parkway and you park in a driveway. What’s up with that?

And how about a store that’s open 24 hours a day and still has locks on the doors? Crazy, right?

The only thing more tired than the “Nick Saban is grumpy with the media and that shows he’s serious” act is the “Nick Saban’s got jokes” act, especially when those “jokes” really aren’t that funny. I guess him not ranting at the media is kind of surprising, but that’s about it. Let’s not act like the dude just reinvented the comedy game. He just recycled a joke from the mid-80s and could barely stop laughing.

 

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