Every great hero knows when it’s time to ride off into the sunset. And that’s why I’m going closed circuit to a man whose head is still probably resting on his pillow — a half-smoked Marlboro burning in the ashtray, a bottle of whiskey down to its last drop, and a giant chinchilla fur coat lying at the foot of the bed.
Because Jay Cutler, last night was a WALK-OFF. It’s not going to get better than that.
And while I know that the Dolphins are still technically alive in the AFC playoff race, is it really worth tarnishing your legacy by trying to one-up that performance? Especially a guy who has played a grand-total of TWO playoff games in his 12 year career? Because
Ol’ Cutty had one shell left in his bazooka — and man, it was BEAUTIFUL. And if we know anything about anything, it’s that once you drop a bomb like that on a team like that, the last thing you can do is look back.
So as far as I’m concerned, THAT was Jay Cutler’s last game. That’s how I’m going to remember him. By speed-bagging the Hood and the dude with the food in his beard that lives in the cardboard box’s defense. By out-playing TB12. And by bringing out that golden arm one last time and pumping out a slash line of 25 for 38, 263 yards and three touchdowns — and dropping dimes, like that corner of the end zone throw to Jakeem Grant.
A game like that is why Cutty’s got career earnings just shy of 120 million. A game like THAT is why somebody might throw 10 more million at him next season — even if he spends his offseason like he did last offseason, football in the closet, chunking up, and then going suns out buns out on some beach in Mexico.
So while I know this was only Week 14 and that the Dolphins still have to play Buffalo twice and go to Arrowhead, don’t spoil perfection. Call it a walk-off. QUIT. Because Monday night — a bottle of Jack in one hand and a football in the other, Ol Cutty painted his last masterpiece.