FAU 50, Akron 3. I never thought I’d be starting a show by talking about Florida Atlantic University. Just like I never thought I’d opening the show by talking Lane Kiffin. Well, that’s not true. I never thought I’d open the show with a POSITIVE Lane Kiffin take. But here we are. Here we freaking are!
Because the Owls won the Boca Bowl championship and Lane Kiffin is winning everything. He’s got a contract on the table that will keep him there for 10 years,… a 10-game winning streak,… an 11-win season, a bowl game trophy, and a postgame dance party in the locker room. Oh, and he’s got a place on the water, a boat, and two jet skis. He’s stacking so many championships of life, Butch Jones is getting jealous.
After the beatdown was over, Kiffin explained what the extension meant: “It was a neat day. It’s the university saying, ‘We’re excited about what’s going on, we believe in what you’re doing, we don’t mind that you make jokes on Twitter like other people do.’ It was just neat to see.”
What else does that new contract mean for Lane? “I won’t get fired on any tarmacs.” Hey-o!
What a freaking year. Remember, it was less than a year ago that Kiffin was gassed by Nick Saban a week before the national title game. And now he’s hanging 50 on teams, dropping double-digit win seasons, and tarmac jokes.
And he also had a ton of points last night. My man wasn’t looking to make friends. He went for it on fourth down six times, converted five times, and scored three touchdowns on those fourth downs. He called a halfback pass up by 47 in the fourth quarter. And was still throwing the ball with 11 seconds left in the game. Kiffy clearly gonna Kiff! Incredible.
Almost as incredible as Kiffin going for two when the Owls scored to make it 34-3 in the third quarter. What was that about? “That was their assistant athletic director. He talked yesterday at the luncheon. Talked trash. So, his bad.”
Boom! Take that, assistant athletic director at Akron, whoever the hell you are! You just got Kiffin’d.
Kiffin is the best. He isn’t just bringing back Florida Atlantic football, he’s bringing back action movie one-liners. “His bad” is up there with “Hasta La Vista, baby” and “pain don’t hurt” for all-time badass lines.
Except, I can’t figure if we’re supposed crack this guy or love him. For years, he’s been the Bag. The guy who was jumped or was pushed from one job after another,.. Who was deflating footballs and switching jerseys. But is it possible that he’s done the opposite of turning heel? That he’s now the ANTI-BAG. That this dude is actually cool. Is it possible that he’s the hero we need? He’s the obviously hero FAU needs, which is why they’re looking to keep him around for a decade. Look I have no idea if this guy will stay more than one more year, much less ten, but after the season they just had, I’d do the exact same thing if I were FAU. FAU will never have it better than they do right now.
The jokes, the tweets, the trolling of Saban, kill for being the same bag he ever was; just don’t tell me you’re entertained by the guy. He’s done the impossible: not only are they winning at FAU, it’s how they’re winning. By annihilating chumps and then talking junk about what they just did to them. Call this dude a circus, but it’s a circus that works. For all the cracks about how he kept failing up, he’s not failing at FAU.
Hell, he’s got me playing their fight song on the show… I didn’t even know FAU had a fight song and now I can’t get it out of my head. It’s the hottest jam around. How many other schools have fight songs that include the lines “there’s football in paradise” and “we know we’re gonna win and it’s feelin’ mighty nice”? Answer: zero.
But the Owls do know they’re gonna win and it IS feelin’ mighty nice. And it’s never felt this nice at FAU until Kiffin came along.
The Owls had three straight three-win seasons before Kiffin arrived. And then started this year 1-3 before running off 10 straight wins. Will anything top the 76-yard field goal attempt with Seabass? No, because nothing will ever top the 76-yard field goal attempt with Seabass. But what he’s doing at FAU is pretty damn impressive.
Right now, it’s Lane Kiffin’s world and the rest of us are just living in it. And watching the master work. I’d say coach ‘em up, Lane, but you already did. You already freaking did.
The Lane Train is rolling. And while it could be 10 years or it could be 10 minutes, it’s already been a helluva run in Boca. And I’ll ask you the question. How do you feel about this guy right now. Still an all-time bag? Or a (Bro)? Bag or bro. A guy you’ll always hate or a dude who finally figured it out and who you want to slam a few beers with?