Minneapolis. Minnesota. And damn glad to be here, thank you very much. The Land of 10,000 Lakes is about to be the Land of 10,000 Takes.
10,000 tired, play-out cold weather takes. But not from this layered up So-Cal dude, nah. I, for one, am stoked to be in Bold North. Stoked to be broadcasting from a mall the size of 78 football fields. Stoked to be amongst the bright minds that brought us Scotch Tape, Bisquick, and the Breakfast of Champs. Hell, forget stoked. I’m straight up honored to be here.
Did you know the Minnesota is home to nation’s first performed open-heart surgery? Probably not. Because some blowhard was likely polluting your airwaves with another lazy weather report you’ve heard a thousand times.
Again–they call it the Bold North. Not the Cold North. The freaking stapler was invented here. Our working lives are literally held together by a device concocted in Minnesota. Ever dropped a piece of bread into a toaster? Minnesota. Ever laced up some rollerblades or strapped on a pair of water skis? Minnesota. Ever been dragged around by your wife all Saturday afternoon in a Target Superstore? You already know: Minnesota.
This place is so much more than a frozen thermometer. So much more than hot takes on cold weather. And the only bad thing about having Super Bowl Week here–is that it’s not Super Bowl Month. Because seven days isn’t close to enough to experience all the awesome Minnesota has to offer.
So get fitted for some plaid, throw on your trapper hat, and lace up your boots. Cause I’m digging in–not shoveling out. And I’m damn glad to be here.