So last night I’m minding my own business, just working to prepare today’s show and watching my Gauchos thrash some Big West also-ran in the conference tournament on their way to the NCAA Tournament. And then all of a sudden, twitter blows up. I mean it nearly completely explodes. When the smoke dissipates and the dust settles, I go to inspect the cause. And no, it’s not the fact that today is the one year anniversary of the Giraffe Family, according to Stucknut. Hey, Steve, it’s impossible for there to be an anniversary of something that doesn’t exist.
No, the real commotion on twitter was because of something that happened in Oakland last night. More specifically Oracle Arena. And no, it wasn’t Steph Curry injuring his ankle. Or Kevin Durant going for 37 and 11. It had nothing to do with that. It actually had nothing to do with the Warriors. It was all about the Raiders. And the fact that Raiders head coach Jon Gruden and team owner Mark Davis were courtside for the game.
TV cameras picked them up and Twitter wouldn’t let them go. It started with the usual cracks about Mark’s hair looking like he cuts it himself with nail clippers or goes to SuperCuts or has a bowl of soup and then puts it on his head and cuts around it. And then it transitioned into the similarities between Gruden and Davis.
McGeaux: Are Mark Davis and Jon Gruden related…MY GOD!
Yes, they kind of look alike. This has been covered before. Just keep moving.
But there was no way that anyone was going. It was just HEATING UP. Don’t believe me, look at this tweet from: ‘Jacson Bevens: Mark Davis looks like microwaved Jon Gruden leftovers’
Okay. That’s inappropriate and over the line. Personal appearance smack is completely unacceptable. Again, they kind of look alike and have similar haircuts, but there’s no need to be referring to one guy as the other guy’s microwaved leftovers. Or that if you microwaved Gruden’s face for a three minutes, you’d end up with Davis’ face. I hope that’s not what that dude was reaching for.
But that wasn’t even the only food comparison: Thoed_E: ‘Mark Davis looks like a caucasian potato with that hair’
And there were plenty of remarks about how Davis looked like a creamsicle. So the guy’s wearing a pale orange top with white pants, who cares? Yes, I know you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, but I love Mark Davis and his look and the fact that he doesn’t follow the supposed rules. That’s what icons do – they don’t follow rules, they break them. And my man is shattering rules left and right.
If people just followed the rules, we wouldn’t have the iPhone or the Tesla or David Bowie or Prince. Humans weren’t supposed to run a four-minute mile and then Roger Bannister came along and broke that rule. We weren’t supposed to walk on the moon and then Neil Armstrong did.
So you can skip me with your “you’re not supposed to dress like a creamsicle and sit courtside at an NBA game” rule. I’m here for the dreamers, the revolutionaries, and the rule breakers.
But there’s no respect for that on Twitter. It just kept getting worse and worse and worse, until this guy went way too far.
Humble Teej: tweets, and I quote: ‘Bruh Mark Davis is the ugliest person ever fam looks like a monster’
Not sure I have ever read a tweet like that. Ever. And what you’d call a FREAKING MASTEPIECE: I’m going to have to call Rude. Disrespectful. And churlish. What the hell is wrong with you people? Why can’t a guy go to a basketball game and not get brutally destroyed on Twitter? Is it too much to ask that Mark Davis and Jon Gruden be allowed to watch a sporting event without someone saying that Davis is the “ugliest person ever” and quote “fam looks like a monster”?
It’s a staff outing. They’re just trying to enjoy some time hanging out, watching two legendary franchises play before they start leading their own legendary franchise, and you’re just lighting these dudes on fire. By the way, do you think that your tweet about Mark Davis looking like he cuts his own hair is the first one of its kind? Do you think he doesn’t know that? He knows it. And he still rolls with it, hell he’s proud of it. And I’m proud of him, for walking around like that, hell, I’m all about that lettuce. I couldn’t respect this cat any more for rocking that cut and color. And leaving his house.
He’s not giving in to you or your hate on Twitter. He’s doing him and he’s doing it better than anyone else. So what that he drives a 97 Dodge Caravan and has an office at PF Chang’s? Or looks like a monster or Jon Gruden after being microwaved on high for 3 mins. He doesn’t give a damn about any of that, because he’s running an NFL team and sitting courtside with his famous coach watching the Dubs. What are you doing? Besides say fam is the ugliest dude ever and looks like a monster. You’re on twitter killing this guy, when he’s in the arena killing life. Think about that, fam. There are no ugly people. Just ugly tweets. Lots and lots of ugly tweets.