Ben McAdoo

USA Today Images

Don’t Change, Ben

It’s been a minute since we’ve heard from Ben McAdoo.

July 13, 2018 - 9:21 am
Categories: 

It’s been a minute since we’ve heard from Ben McAdoo. And I’ll be honest, I miss the old lug. I miss him showing up at the intro press conference with the suit that looked like it belonged to King Kong Bundy. The bizarrely oversized windbreakers. The slicked back hair. The sunglasses. I miss everything about him.

But fortunately he resurfaced this week to talk to the New York Post about the New York Giants. And as soon as I saw that Ben McAdoo was talking football, I was in.

I had so many questions and Ben McAdoo had so many answers. Starting with, what does he think of this year’s Giants?

“I think they’ve made a lot of the moves I wanted to make.”

That’s my guy. He’s chilling in Florida these days, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t looking to remind you that the team is finally doing what he wanted them to do. The old, “yep, that was my idea” approach. Kind of like when someone tries to open a jar, but can’t. So they hand it to you, you open it and then they say, “yeah, but I loosened it.”

God, I love Ben McAdoo. Tell me more, oh sunglassed one. 

Well, not only does he like the Giants, he told the Post he thinks they’re going to win the division. And I know what you’re thinking, did Ben forget the defending Super Bowl champions in their division? Isn’t this just classic Ben McAdoo going Ben McAdon’t?

First off, stop it with the lame nicknames. And second, no, he didn’t forget that at all. He’s well aware of it and he has an answer for you fools: “I think Philly, how much success has Philly had? I think they’re gonna have a hard time handling success. Dallas, I like their offensive line, but how long have we been saying that? Their defense, they got a bunch of young guys playing DB, Sean Lee is banged up a lot, and their D-line, they got a bunch of guys getting in trouble all the time. And Washington is Washington, right?”

Yes! Love this guy! My guy believes that Philly is going to struggle after having success because they’ve never had success. Love that take. Nothing says logic like a team that was good will be bad because they’ve never been good before. But a team that was garbage last year will be good because, well, because he thinks they’ll be good.

And let’s not sleep on “Washington is Washington, right?” Hashtag Analysis. Is this a former NFL coach or just some random sports radio caller? Is this Ben No Longer in the Meadowlands calling on the listener line? I feel like he should be ending his takes with “I’ll take your answer off the air.”  

But Benjamin was just getting warmed up. Here comes his thought on the Giants new left tackle, Nate Solder: “Getting a left tackle in there will help them in a lot of ways. I don’t think he’s a very good player, but I think it will help them in a lot of ways where they needed help in that room in the past and they haven’t had anyone to do that.” 

Hey, Giants fans, you were fired up about bringing in two-time Super Bowl champion Nate Solder? Ben McAdoo isn’t. “I don’t think he’s a very good player.” BOOM! ROASTED! 

But the arrival of Solder means that Ereck Flowers moves to right tackle, so that’s a good thing, right? Let’s just say McAdoo isn’t sold on Flowers at left tackle or right tackle or really anywhere. “He can’t bend, you got to be able to bend. You can run around him on that side just like you can on the other side, Eli just gets to see it, which may help Eli.”

Translation: he sucks, but at least Eli can see that he sucks and see the damage that he’s causing before Eli gets hit. 

Here’s the thing. I feel like we’re only scratching the surface with McAdoo Takes. And I want more. That felt like an appetizer. I want the main course. And I want it weekly, if not daily. I want Ben McAdoo weighing in on everything. Because if there’s one thing I like more than his takes on the NFC East, it’s the fact that he’s already hyping his old team to be better without him and paving the way for himself to take credit later on. 

See? I love these moves. I wanted to make these moves all along, but they wouldn’t let me. Now that I’m gone, they’re doing it and they’ll win and it’s all my idea! Mac is back, baby! 

Don’t change, Ben. Don’t ever change.